i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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