Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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