In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
