hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
