MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
