the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
