I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
