Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
