i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
