On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
