If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
