She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
