Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
