I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
