why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
