Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
