What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
