Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
