The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
