Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
