Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
