Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think your dad took our porno
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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