If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize