Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
