You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
