Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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