dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
