just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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