hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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