my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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