Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
