Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Randomize
