Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shitshow foam night was such a success
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
