You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
