real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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