I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
