If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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