we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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