let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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