I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
