Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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