Im at strip club and am horny
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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