I CAN MOONWALK!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
