I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
