i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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