Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
