the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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