in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
