I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
