I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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