idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
